Divorce is not an easy legal dispute for anyone involved, especially if there are children from the marriage. Few areas of the law require ongoing communication between the parties involved, but after a divorce most parents will have to continue to be a part of each other’s lives, especially when decisions regarding the children must be made.

Mediation may be required as a part of your divorce process. During a face-to-face mediation, your conduct is extremely important. Failure to work at a peaceful mediation may seriously harm your case. It’s understandable that anger and stress levels may be elevated during this trying time, but these tips can help mediation work for you, rather than against you.

Rule #1: Do not refuse to negotiate

Even if a gap in what each of you wants seems insurmountable, discussions that occur during mediation often lead to peaceful resolutions. One party may realize that their position is weak, or suggestions may be made that change one persons stance on a subject, thus making a negotiation possible.

Rule #2: Control Your Temper

There will likely be times during the mediation that you want to scream and yell, but avoid this at all costs. If tempers flare, ask for a break from the mediation so you can cool down and get your thoughts in order. If mediation is unsuccessful, you don’t want the opposing party to have ammunition by means of your actions during mediation.

Rule #3: Be Cordial

This may be the hardest rule to oblige, but remember that people are less likely to dig in their heels if treated well. If you are cordial during the mediation, your spouse is likely to be more willing to meet you in the middle or agree to your requests than if you are aggressive and set them on the defensive out of the starting gate.